I've been super blah this week. I did something that I didn't think would be that big of a deal and it ended up being kind of a large thing at least and so my life has gotten a lil more complicated. I hate it. I can't even really talk to him and its so awkward because I don't know what he's thinking or feeling or anything and I really want to because I want to be there for him, but I'm kind of the one who started the whole thing so I don't think he'd really want to be comforted by me right now. I try to hug him with a lil more feeling than usual to try and let him know that I love him and want him to be happy and whatnot and if that means not having me in his life or whatever then I'll deal with that when we get there. He's doing some major life evaluation I think which isn't really what I meant to happen. I just wanted him to know how I was feeling and so I told him and it prompted this whole thing. I hate this friggin' awkwardness because I've always been happy that we didn't have that like ever. I could talk about anything and it wasn't awkward or if it was we could always laugh about it and he's like my best friend ever so it really hurts.

I don't know what else to say other than this crap sucks.